You are currently browsing the daily archive for November 28th, 2007.
According to Merriam-Webster, (which is it dictionary? Merriam or Webster? Pick a side. We’re at war!) something is newsworthy if it is interesting enough to the general public to warrant reporting.
Unfortunately, what the general public considers interesting is usually sensationalized and useless, but they still seem to just eat it up. This creates a market devoted entirely to celebrity news, gossip, rumor and other useless crap.
Now if the general public wants to get their news from tabloids, that’s their business. If they think stories about fluctuating dress sizes, on-again off-again relationships or UFO sightings are news, that’s fine. But the real tragedy is the fact that this misconception of what is newsworthy has trickled down into everyday life. People think personal information is news and should, therefore, be shared. It’s this mindset which results in Too Much Information or TMI.
TMI is when people share more information than is necessary. There are two main kinds of information which shouldn’t be shared. One is personal information. The other is pointless information. In other words, don’t tell me if it’s not my business or if I won’t care.
I’m not a physician. I don’t want you hear about your menstrual cycle, any gastrointestinal problems you have or the rash that suddenly appeared.
I’m not a therapist. I don’t want to hear about your desire to come out of the closet, your boy or girl problems or the moral struggles you have.
I’m not a journal. I don’t want to hear about how much more fun your weekend was than mine, your inebriate escapades or your brand new puppy.
I’m not a teenybopper. I don’t want to hear about who’s dating who, the band you love that no one has ever heard of or anything having to do with high school.
I’m not a bottomless toilet for you to vomit your awkward information into. I wouldn’t know what to do with most of the information anyway. Is this one of those things where you want my advice or do you just want me to listen? And am I supposed to remember all of this stuff? Because I’m not going to store your useless babble in my mental archives so I can recall it later. I need to save cerebral room for important things like movie quotes and egregious stereotypes.
Unfortunately, more and more people – with their yellow journalism and their melodramatic blogs – have decided it’s alright to tell anybody anything. And as our culture becomes more obsessed with useless facts and intimate details, we encourage people with nothing to say to keep talking.
Now, I’m all for conversation. If I was Fräulein Maria, I would sing about conversation – because who really cares about bright copper kettles and doorbells? But these conversations I so adore don’t include me wondering, “Why are you telling me this?”
So, if you have pointless and soul-divulging information, who do you tell?
No one.
There’s nothing wrong with having a secret from the world. It’s actually kind of exciting. For instance, no one knows I used to have a huge romantic infatuation with Janet Reno. Can you imagine the amount of embarrassment I would expose myself to if that information got out? It’s better left unsaid.
But, I guess if you must tell something to someone, it better be someone you have a close relationship with. Everyone needs to have someone to whom they could tell anything, even if it’s the most inconsequential or private information they are holding deep within their souls. But these are good friends – BFFs if you will – not casual acquaintances.
So unless you and I would feel comfortable sharing a toothbrush, a bed, a disease, a girlfriend or underwear, in the timeless words of Elvis Costello, “Keep that to yourself.”
That is all.
-Scotty
College is a time to show off. After all, there are people to impress. When I can’t win people over with my sense of humor, I turn to the one thing that makes everyone swoon – my seemingly endless movie knowledge. Even just whispering the word “cinematography” makes most people want me to be the Yoda to their Luke Skywalker.
Sure, I’ve studied film academically and worked as a screenwriter. Sure, I’ve seen and analyzed hundreds of movies and written movie reviews. Sure, I’ve worked with directors and producers and been on set for shoots. But I’m no better than you. I used to be just like you. I used to stare blankly at the screen and mold slowly into my couch, eyes glazing over, brain slowing and drool forming at the corners of my mouth.
I still do that sometimes. Passive movie watching is a wonderful experience. But even more than just a chance to relax, movies can be emotionally, intellectually and even spiritually fulfilling. And you don’t have to have done all of those things I narcissistically – and unprovoked – bragged about in order to have an enhanced movie-watching experience. There’s an easier way to become a movie connoisseur without spending years in film school or hours in text books. The key is to pay attention.
You’re Using Coconuts!
Pay attention to the sets, the props, the costumes. Production designers are responsible for the overall look of the film. They work closely with the director to help tell the story visually. Movies like “Moulin Rouge!” (2001), “Big Fish” (2003) and “Finding Neverland” (2004) have a very strong visual component. But every movie is going to have some distinct visual aspects of their production design. In “The Notebook” (2004), the color red is used to identify the main female character, Allie, as the film switches between the past and the present. “X” shapes can be found all throughout each of the movies in the X-Men trilogy.
Life Moves Pretty Fast
The pace and rhythm of a movie is important for a film, and the editing is what helps portray that pace. Editors will very the length of cuts, depending on the part of the movie. So, pay attention to how short or long the scenes are, and also how short or long the cuts are within each scene. “The Boondock Saints” (1999) is about twin-brother vigilantes. The movie has the action of a gangster film and the sentiment of a drama. At times of high emotion between the brothers or other characters, there is more time between cuts. When they’re off saving the city of Boston from evil with their shooting and their acrobatics in fast-paced, high-action sequences, there are short, quick cuts.
The Films are Alive with the Sound and Music
Music is used to add to the tone of a film, whether it is grandiose music for grandiose moments, or tender moments with a violin softly playing the background. This technique is common, so it’s especially interesting to notice times when those expectations are broken. During a sword fight in “The Count of Monte Cristo” (2002), one would expect it to be like most fight scenes – coupled with intense music. However, in this case, there is no music at all, just the clashing of swords.
Mrs. Cinematography, You’re Trying to Seduce Me
Cinematography has to do with how the camera is used when the movie is shot. The shot can be close or far away. It can be from above, or from below. If from above, it may portray the character as weak or vulnerable. In contrast, a shot from below will usually portray a character as more powerful or dominant. Cinematography also has to do with the camera’s movement, or lack thereof, during a shot. Sometimes shots are stationary, but sometimes dollies, cranes or people are used to move the camera during a shot. In “The Bourne Ultimatum” (2007), they decided to get a guy with Parkinson’s to hold the camera during the whole movie.
I’m Kind of a Big Deal. People Know Me
At the center of every film is the director, making all the major decisions. Try to remember who the director is, which shouldn’t be hard because their name will usually be in big, bold lettering during the opening credits. But more than just being able to say who directed a film is noticing similarities between films with the same director. Many directors have a distinct style, which can be seen throughout all of their movies – Wes Anderson, Tim Burton, Quentin Tarantino, M. Night Shyama-lama-ding-dong are a few. And by referencing a director, people automatically assume you know what you’re talking about.
Doesn’t Amount to a Hill of Beans in this Crazy World, unless…
But even paying attention to all of these details is not enough. The most important thing, in order to really up your movie experience, is to constantly ask questions. Why did they use that costume? Why are they using long cuts? What are they trying to accomplish by using that music? How does using that kind of shot add to or take away from the film? Why did the director do that?
In movies, even the smallest decisions are carefully considered. There is always a purpose for every color, every cut and every angle. Focus on nuances, any recurring themes and overall tone. Good movies are going to have a central message or moral. Get into the movie mindset and think about how you would have done it differently. And like most art, you don’t have to be educated to have an opinion. As long as you can mildly defend that opinion with fancy words – like edits, production design, etc. – you’re golden.
But even if you’re not trying to brag or seek enlightenment from a movie, the great thing about gaining these skills and learning how to pay attention is, when you don’t want to, you don’t have to. You can still have those grand, comatose, vegetative moments. You can still experience the cinematic utopia consisting of minimal excitement to cranial synapses and ending with scrolling credits.
And now you won’t have to say, “I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let’s face it.”
That is all.
-Scotty
