Hey guys! Listen up. These next few minutes might be hard for you, but they could be the most important minutes of your lives. In order for this to work, I have to be blunt and you have to be honest. Answer these questions as best you can, really looking deep within yourself. The answers may seem extreme and I may have taken stereotypes to the very edge of reality, but it had to be done.

Which answer best fits you?

Dating:

a. Is too hard. You’ve given up on it because you’ve had a few (or several) bad experiences.

b. Should always be an all-day ordeal. The more activities you can cram into one date, the better.

c. Is an inefficient way to get action.

d. Should be – at least at first – brief, unassuming, low-key, inexpensive and interactive.

Your ideal girl:

a. Will find you with limited or no effort on your part. Things will just work out.

b. Will enjoy talking about you almost as much as you do.

c. Is blonde, wears big sunglasses and bigger belts, doesn’t know how many states are in the U.S. and is at least a C-cup.

d. Is ambitious, smart, pretty, interested in you, and doesn’t know the whereabouts of Lindsay Lohan at any given time.

When you see a cute girl, you:

a. Talk to her and hit it off pretty well, but probably won’t ask her out.

b. Ask her out right then and there – regardless of whether you connected with each other – and just assume she’ll enjoy whatever date you have planned.

c. Search through your mental notebook of pickup lines, and go with “Are you a natural blonde?” because you think that’s a good one.

d. Strike up a conversation, try to find out more about her, try not to talk too much about yourself, and hopefully end the evening with a phone number.

When getting ready for a date:

a. You do so grudgingly, since the only reason you’re going is because your roommates insisted you get out of the house.

b. You are very confident the date will go well – unjustifiably so, since you really don’t know anything about her.

c. The only dilemma you have is whether you should try to make out with her during the movie, or make your move after.

d. You’re a little nervous and really excited, but calm yourself down. I mean, you’re just getting ice cream, right? No big deal.

When you want more romance in your life you:

a. Watch a chick flick, and for some reason think real life is like that.

b. Chalk up the awkwardness and utter failure of your last date to bad luck and ask her out again.

c. Call random girls to hang out, assuming they’re so in love with you they’ll drop whatever else they’re doing.

d. Go out and earn it. Dating isn’t easy.

When it comes to your social life, you would rather:

a. Hang out with your roommates and make them listen to your love-life woes.

b. Keep calling that girl because you can’t think of any good reason she hasn’t returned your other calls.

c. Hang out with a bunch of hot chicks and your “bros”.

d. Be on a date. Maybe a double date, where you all know each other and can have fun together.

Your last relationship:

a. Is something you don’t want to talk about. It was a long time ago and it ended with your heart being broken.

b. Consisted of one 12-hour date, a goodnight hug and about 3000 text messages – most of her messages “apologizing” for being so “busy”.

c. Was in high school. Committing to a serious relationship is pointless.

d. Was difficult to end, since you were – and continue to be – such good friends.

When talking about girls you:

a. Do so with spite, resentment and hopelessness, even though your romance struggles haven’t been any harder than anyone else’s.

b. Wonder why you haven’t found your true love – someone you can have deep conversations about Harry Potter with.

c. Somehow can’t seem to talk about anything other than their physical appearance.

d. Talk happily, almost giddily, about how well your last date went.

You get mad at other guys – or writers of certain quizzes – when:

a. They don’t understand how hard it is for you to ask out girls.

b. They don’t understand how nervous you get on dates.

c. They don’t understand how much you’d like to have a real relationship.

d. They don’t understand how concerned you are you’ll blow your chance with this girl.

What would you do for your girl?

a. I’d do anything. I just hope she’ll realize I’m not good at this whole dating thing.

b. I’d do anything. I just hope she’ll realize my being over the top isn’t on purpose.

c. I’d do anything. I just hope she’ll realize the tough-guy persona is just an act.

d. I’d do anything. Period.

Tally up your score!

Mostly A’s?

Mr. Sourpuss – You’ve had some struggles in the past with the ladies, for whatever reasons, but you shouldn’t let that stop you. Realize that everyone – statistically speaking – will have more unsuccessful relationships than successful ones. So don’t give up, take some initiative and be bold!

Mostly B’s?

Mr. Weirdo – You’re very well-intentioned, but you try way too hard. Plan some more conservative dates, like just ice cream or just dinner or just mini-golf. I when I say “just” I mean just. And try to do a better job of knowing when a girl isn’t interested and leave her alone.

Mostly C’s?

Mr. Player – You love the ladies and you’re quite the stud. You don’t really want a relationship, because you just want to have some fun. But, if you answered C to #9 and #10, you should probably think about it a little bit. Maybe it’s time to quit bouncing around from girl to girl and just focus on one. It’ll probably be worth it.

Mostly D’s?

Mr. Perfect – You’re practical when it comes to dating. You’re not going to invest a lot of time and money into a date when you barely know the girl. You’re going to focus on relationships that are fulfilling mentally, socially, spiritually and physically (but probably not economically because girls are expensive). You’ll realize when a girl is not interested in you and move on.

That is all.

-Scotty